Visual Journaling

I liken parts of my life to being on a constant diet. It wasn’t that I had a weight problem but I did have to constantly “weigh” every decision I made.

I had to calculate all of my actions as to exactly how what I did, or did not do, would affect me personally. For me it became a way of life and my life truly did depend on how well I handled the challenge.

As far as exercise was concerned, life became an obstacle course which I did with extreme caution. I had to tread lightly in my environment. I tiptoed my way around and became very adept at walking on eggshells.

I have  been told that if you are dieting it is not good for you to completely cut out a whole food group.This is because you need all of the groups to have a balanced diet and one group builds upon another. 

I missed out on a very important stage of life....that being childhood. No fun or frivolity was allowed. Life was serious business.  For me childhood was like being allowed to have dessert before you eat your vegetables. You could play, act silly, have adventures, explore and learn about life in your own way. Or at least that is how I had envisioned it to be for most people. I had to become an adult at around age four.

 Now I am a senior citizen but I still miss not having a childhood.

For my birthday this year I was given a scrapbook and some paper dolls from someone who knew me well. I proceeded to make for myself a visual journal to remind me that it is never too late to have a happy childhood.

 I cut out the paper dolls and put onto the journal pages This also was a way of reminding me that I had “permission” to pursue this missing piece of my life. I keep this journal handy in my desk drawer as a reminder to do something non-sensible as the occasion presents itself.

images of things I would like to do.

Going Forward..

After as month of no rain it poured this past week. Most of the water quickly soaked into the dry parched ground but a few water puddles remained. I did not do the sensible thing and maneuver around them but rather purposely stepped into the middle of them to see how big of a splash it made.
 It felt good. I know it was a small step but the journey has begun.

~ Gracie

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Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

                                                               ORDER HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.ph?w=978

THE WEB

It had always been something of a curiosity to me why some of our tree limbs had a web wrapped around certain branches. So I decided to investigate. What I found out was that it was a sign that the tree has bagworms.

Bagworms start out life as a caterpillar and then change into a moth. As a caterpillar in the larva stage it is rarely seen. When they metaphors’ the male bagworms are black, fury, clear-winged moths with a one inch wing-span. Females are creamy white and lack wings and legs.

During September and October, the females lay their eggs. But before she does, she spins a silk web all around the branch of the tree where she resides. This web resembles a bag. This is done to protect herself from her natural predator the birds. Female bagworms can lay as many as 500 to 1,000 eggs. The eggs hatch in May and June.

Young larva feed on the leaves and keep chewing on leaves until they turn brown and eventually die. They can strip the branch bare. Everything inside this bag shaped web will die. The rest of the tree however looks healthy. In spiritual terms this is called a fragmented soul.

This got me thinking about our lives. We can look healthy and so full in life in most areas; but are there areas of our life where we feel dead?

Are there areas of our life where we are producing no fruit? If this is the case then it behooves us to look for a web of deception that has attached itself to this area of our life. What lies has the enemy used to keep the truth from shining through? Until this web of deception is gone this area of your life cannot become alive again and function the way it was meant to.

Wanda wrote in The Search for Peace: A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Wholeness  " As we continue to replace the ‘negative core beliefs’ with ‘positive core beliefs’ from the Word of God, we also need to constantly monitor what is happening in us. We must look objectively at the reaction that comes out of us and other people. The way we react when something happens is a real, no fail, barometer of what is in our souls.

Sometimes we will have a ‘sleeper’ (a web) that lies silent for a while; .... we can fool ourselves in how well we are doing. Bottom line, ‘If we have a ‘problem’ with anybody or anything ‘we’ have a problem.’ Oh they may indeed have a problem, but the real problem for us is how we ‘react’ to their problem. A soul set free never reacts…only acts."

She goes on to tell a funny story...

"‘This guy heard the doorbell ring. When he went to answer it all he found was a snail sitting on the porch. He picked up the snail, hauled off and threw it as far as he could and went back inside slamming the door behind him. Three years later he heard the doorbell again and opened the door to find the same snail sitting there, the snail said to him, “So, what was ‘that’ all about?” I guess the moral of that story is no matter how long it takes to get to the bottom of a reaction…get there and find out what ‘that’ is all about."

~Gracie

THE THINGS LEFT BEHIND

Had it not been for the bright orange day lilies that graced the edge of one of the pastures we might have missed it. Day lilies usually signal you to the fact that an old homestead is nearby. We first came upon two sets of flat stones one leading into the house and the other was at the back. Nothing remained of the house itself and certainly no clue to who might have occupied it.

Combing the woods behind the old homestead about fifty feet from the back of the house lay an iron bed frame discarded from the house and buried under a pile of leaves. I pondered what sort of story might have been associated with this. Often times we feel that what is buried cannot hurt us, so it lays there. We fail to realize that anything we bury tends to take and develop a root system. In the natural when something takes root the larger the root grows the harder it is to pull it out and get rid of it.

Around the old homestead the grass in the fields had grown so tall that they could no longer be mowed; they needed to be brush hogged. More discoveries were hidden in the fields. One by one we found harrowing tools abandoned and left to rust.

The harrowing tools were used to work the soil and each one had a purpose. The longer harrowing tool was for superficial work to make the soil lighter and airy. If it is used first the soil can become windblown, tossed to and fro. In contrast the disk harrows can stand in for the plough in very tough country. It can handle stuff like tree stumps and roots and the rocks that are deeper in the soil. The harrowers change the soil structure and make it suitable for seeding and planting.

My mind pondered the scripture in Hosea that says to break up your fallow ground. One of the definitions of fallow ground that I like is land that is idling and crusted over and hardened. Hardness of heart usually occurs from experiencing a heart wrenching experience that almost crushes your soul. You might also be experiencing coldness in a part of your life. In an odd way we want to freeze this memory and bury it. I suppose it represents a sort of death that has occurred to our souls.

                                                                                                                           Love, Gracie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets, is a gripping page-turner.You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:
http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

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THE APPLE TREE

 The apple tree that graces our pasture was once not as noticeable as it is now. When we first moved here it did not stand out. What you did notice was the two tall cedar trees that grew at the base of the apple tree. It had been there for a long time but the previous owners did not see the trees potential.  

Sure they might have picked apples from the tree and even commented on why the tree was leaning over at a 45 degree angle with its leaves reaching out instead of upward. But as long as the tree produced the fruit they needed then they were content to let it remain that way.

Interesting also is the fact that at the very base of the apple tree was a hole. The void was filled with insects which preyed upon the tree. Yet the tree still stood in defiance. Survival mode had taken over.

I could not help but to liken this apple tree to my own life. I grew up not in the shadow of an adult but rather as a child crowded in a place where I could not grow as God had intended for me to grow. On one side of me I had a child molester and on the other side I had someone with emotional problems and who had issues with drug addiction. They always hovered over me and always wanted me to fix a need they had.

As a child and even as an adult I held an image of my soul reaching with outstretched hands for a human touch to help me and set me free. Like the tree my head was bowed down as I walked, due to low self-esteem. I’m sure people noticed that and some of them might have even commented on it as they passed me by.

Like the tree I had missed out on a lot of things I needed to grow correctly. I needed caring and nurturing. I needed light to be shining in my life. What I got instead was a life hidden in the shadows. I understood why the tree was leaning forward: it was seeking out the light just to survive.

What the apple tree needed was a separation from the cedar trees so it could start to be put back to the way God intended for it to grow. So my husband cut down the two cedar trees. All that remains of them is a stump. They are no longer interfering with the apple tree. The apple tree now can begin to come back into the way it was originally created to be. It is still bent over but we were told that with a little pruning at just the right time in due season the  tree will stand tall.

I know as humans we need the Lord to shine his light into our lives but sometimes we also need a helping hand from our fellow sisters in the Lord. Just having someone who has been there and who can “see” our outstretched hand would greatly help the healing process along.

Now when people see the tree they know that it is still in the process of being made whole. It no longer has to live in the shadows...but live in the light.

~~Gracie

The pictures above are of Gracie's apple tree on her farm in Arkansas...
The ones below is how I see Gracie...blooming and bearing much fruit...Wanda G.