THE CAVE

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.” ~~Joseph Campbell

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Living out here in the country I witnessed an illustration about dreams and caves. As I watched the events unfold I had a better understanding of how abuse not dealt with with effects dreams.

The swimming hole wasn’t an elaborate dream- just a simple one. The boss, who owns the two hundred acres where my husband is caretaker, had dreamed of childhood memories of carefree days at a swimming hole. It was my husband’s responsibility to turn his dream into a reality.

The County extension office came out to make arrangements to find the perfect spot. They determined the best place for his pond would be in the gorge that had been carved out by nature. The peacefulness and quiet that we had enjoyed gave way to the hum and roar of the bulldozers. The machines pushed, shoveled and moved large amounts of dirt into the proper prepositions to carve out a pond. It took several weeks before the project was finished and we had an empty pond.

Everything looked good and now all we had to do is wait for the rain from above to begin filling up the pond and then the dream would be realized. The rain came in short spurts so the water inched its way to the top. With each new rain we would rush to the pond and report back to the boss the newest measurement of the water level.

Month after month this went on until one day the sky opened up and rained down on us all of the necessary water to fill up the pond. Unfortunately just as quickly as the pond filled up it receded back to a lower level and still lower with each rain storm.

Surveying the area that surrounded the pond we learned that there were cracks in the limestone substructure. It was after a horrendous rain that something startling came into being. The fracture line had exposed a muddy trench. Further investigation was needed. As we crawled on our knees, sticky red clay clung to our clothes. Soon we came to an opening and there it was… a cave! We stood up. The cave had a musty smell that offended my nostrils. The cave had been here for years and the stalagmite that was at my feet bore witness to that fact.


As I surveyed my surroundings, we were in just the beginning of the cave. Four feet below  the cave opened up again into a nice size room about eight square feet. It was in this room that the water disappeared. Looking along the wall there were other caves jetting out in every direction. My mind echoed Wanda’s words..."Could it be that the cave holds all the pain and hurt we buried?”

It was then that I realized that this is what my soul must have looked like. The caves jetting out in every direction represented all of my pain and hurt I had buried.. abuse.. grief.. .deaths..depression. I no longer wanted to be in the cave. I wanted to be where the dream was.

Turning around to leave, I caught a glimpse of sunlight. A  fracture line above my head revealed where not only had the small ray of sunlight come through but also a green leaf that protruded into the cave. It was a promise of healing and a fulfilling life that would come if only I allowed God to work in this situation.

Outside again, we now had a realization of why the pond was only half filled with water. Something had to be done. I watched as an observer as rocks and logs and lots of material things were thrown into the cave to fill the void. It didn't work. Next, an order was placed for forty dump truck loads of red sticky clay to cover up the cave and pretend that it did not exist. Denial did not work either.

Finally, it was decided to build a wall of sandbags around the cave . It was reasoned that the sandbag wall would keep the dream of the pond alive or at the very least keep it from losing ground. Like the other solutions it was also a failure.The cave continued in its present state and the dream could not be fully realized until something was done.

It is the same way in my life. I cannot  have my dream of being the person God intended me to be and to walk in my full potential until I deal with the unresolved issues buried in my soul.

Until Next Time, Gracie

More Info On The Book Family Secrets... Here

www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6



SECRETS...

Psalms 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden [part] thou shalt make me to know wisdom.



Secrets, we have all been told them and some may be harmless but others that we have been pledged to keep and hide deep down within the recesses of our souls can become to us lethal weapon in the hands of the enemy.

Webster’s dictionary defines secrets as designed or working to escape notice, knowledge or observation.

God did not create us to hold secrets in the inward parts. He make us to desire truth.

The definition of truth is in stark contrast of that of secrets. Truth as defined by Webster’s dictionary is ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience.

A lot of things happen when you have secrets hidden in the recesses of your heart and soul. Secrets have a way of taking away from you a lot of precious energy. You spend your waking hours in an attempt to surpress those secrets from surfacing and in the very same breathe you strive to pretend that there is nothing out of the ordinary, nothing is wrong.

The more that secrets hide in the shadows the less they are exposed to the light of truth and knowledge. Whatever is hidden deep inside only has one perception of the event or trauma that took place. Unexposed to the light of God’s Word and God’s healing touch it will remain buried but at the same time expels hurt and pain to those around you.

When living with my parents our home contained the secrets of alcholism, verbal and physcial abuse. We as a family were too embarassed to admit that we were in a crisis so we built walls around the family to try and confine the problem. The only thing the walls did was to prevent other people outside the family from giving us the support system we needed to stop the vicious cycle of alcholism and abuse.

Bear in mind that all  family secrets, whether alcholism, incest or murder, are usually geared to protecting the wrong person. It is this denial of the problem that almost always assures it will pass down to the next generation.

Secrets can cause you to have lasting spiritual and emotional damage which adds to the problem. A preacher once told me, " You are only as healthy spiritually as the deepest darkest secrets that you hide in your soul." A lot of people have the misperception that once Christ comes into your life then you will not have to deal with the secrets...that somehow they just magically go away. That simply is not true they must be dealt with in order to be whole again.

So how do you start to deal with the secrets in your life? First of all if you are, right now, a victim of verbal or physcial abuse  you need to go someplace safe to work on these issues. I recommend  a battered women’s shelter. They are true professionals who know how to deal with the problems  you face. Many counselors have been where you are and will help you own your own TRUTH.

Owning your Truth is the beginning

of spiritual and emotional healing....

Until Next Time, Gracie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets, is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

                                      

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

CHICKENS & EAGLES

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31  NLT

With each new batch of chickens that hatch our little flock increases. I am sad to say that I am often not diligent in counting the flock each day to know if any are missing. This past week however I noticed that two of our dominicker chickens were AWOL. My mind was quick to pronounce judgement that they probably had succumbed to the predators. I had feared that they could never survive out there at night all alone for any length of time.


As I took my walk one evening along our trail I realized that it would soon be dusk and I better head on toward home. I was about ¼ of a mile from our house near the big red barn that had recently been finished, and I thought that I heard the faint sound of a chicken clucking. I verded off the trail and went inside the barn and looked on the ground but no chicken was in sight. I turned to leave but heard the noise again and this time my eyes were drawn upward.


There on the highest rafter of the barn (some 11 feet up) sat the two chickens. Evidently in being allowed to range free they had wandered off and made their way to the barn to seek refuge. But the refuge of the barn wa not enough to protect them fully so they found a way to get to the highest peak of the barn away from the predators so they could find rest. They knew that being up as high as possible gave them good visibility to be able to see predators and thus would not be caught unaware.


This had been quite a feat for them for as I have stated before they are not the smartest animal on the farm. Another thing you may not know about chickens is that the less weight they carry the higher they can fly. The chicken however could not fly the eleven feet on its own. They had flew to the top of one of the bales of hay stored on the floor of the barn and used the hay as stepping stones until they were able to soar to the highest peak to find refuge and rest.

This sight had reminded me of a time in my life who words of prophesy were spoken over me. I was in the midst of all my trials and the word came to me that said, “ You are carrying around a lot of things (excess baggage) that God never wanted you to carry and inside your spirit wants to soar.”

Like the chicken my “weight” prevented me from soaring to new height. I had to start taking the steps one by one to get rid of all the excess baggage. With the Lord’s help I got rid of the baggage I was carrying around and now I can soar new heights.

Until Next Time, Gracie

               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

THE VIEW FROM THE FRONT PORCH

These past few weeks on television they have been celebrating the fifty years of the Andy Griffith show about Mayberry. In almost every episode you will find them out on the front porch interacting with the people around them. I think that a lot of people watch this show to reminisce about days gone by. They crave that personal interaction.

Have you noticed that the vast majority of the houses built in the past thirty years do not have a front porch? This has become a sign of our times and is reflective of how we live our lives.

In a book entitled Bowling Alone by Robert D. Putman, he did a study over the past 40 years on how we interact socially with each other. He found that we have become increasingly disconnected from family and friends. Back just 30 years ago the average person invited guests into their home about 3 times a week. Now our national average of inviting someone into our homes is once or maybe twice a year!

What really hit this message home for me this week was a conversation that I had with a gentleman who had suffered a heat stroke several years ago. He related to me about how his vision has changed since that event. He told me that the things he sees which are at arm’s length are three dimensional and real to him. Everything else beyond arms length appears one dimensional like a picture background. He has a hard time seeing those things as real. I wondered if sometimes we don’t see people in that same light.

Being an abuse survivor I cannot count the number of times that I wanted to stand on a table in a crowd of people and shout at the top of my lungs, “Does anyone know that I am here? I am a real live human being.” Abuse takes a lot out of you and you become, if only to yourself, a shell of a person...one dimensional. Or as Wanda puts it in her book The Search for Peace "...the walking dead." There is a longing to reconnect with people...to have people touch your life and to get up-close and personal. In today’s society this is especially a challenge. It is not as easy as it was back in the day.

I remember a poem, and I do not know who wrote it but this is a few lines of it:

There are times when encouragement means such a lot,


And a word is enough to convey it


There were others who could have just as easy as not


But just the same they would never say it.


Look at the people around you in a totally new light and see if you can give them a word of encouragement instead of just passing them by.

Until Next Time, Gracie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

 http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

A FATHER TO THE FATHERLESS

I know, Lord, that a person’s life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. Jeremiah 10:23~ NLT

This verse is especially true for children in their formative years. As a child I did not have a say  about the home I was placed into. I did not have a say about my name being taken away from me. But I think that more important than that... I has no kind of support system or anyone in my corner.

Over the years I was not encouraged to make friends. These things,  for the most part, were off limits to me and out of my hands. I did not have the opportunity to plot my own course and yet God has an ordained planned for my life and all children.

His plan to have them live in a loving home and go through an order of progress designed to lead them into adulthood. First they will be totally dependent upon their parents to supply their needs. Next they will go through a period where they can explore and play and know some of the simply joys that this life has to offer. Next comes adolescence that is sometimes painful as children are going through the transition to adulthood.

Man has been given free will and many times he chooses not to follow God’s ordained path. That ‘free will’ is a blessing as well as a curse depending on how we use it. Because of their parents choices and failure to provide a loving home where they can be nurtured and grow in adult ...innocent children pay a high price.
What is a fully grown child to do who may be still struggling to grow up in this kind of atmosphere?

Once while giving a partial testimony on my healing up to this point (this was prior to my full healing), I was talking about how I had lost my parents and my memory. Then I had said something that startled even me because I had not realized that early on in life exactly the full extent of what I was doing. The words that had come out of my mouth was me saying ,”Well, God I guess that right now I am nobody’s child so you will just have to become a Father to me.” Being so young and not having spiritual insights I did not realize that when I had been asking God for help to see me through this I was putting God in my life and asking Him to become my Father.

Psalms 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God has promised to do that and be a father to the fatherless. For those of you who are not orphans than here another scripture.

Psalms 27:10 When my father and mother forsake me, than the Lord will take me up.

When you feel that your parents have forsaken you then the Lord will become a Father to you. God cares so very much for children and He knew that He would have to step in and become a Father to these abused and hurting children. God’s care for me was there in so many ways although some times at this point I did not have the spiritual eyes to see it. For example sometimes when things get really bad God has placed within you a point where you block out a lot of the pain until later when you start to deal with it.

In my own case years later someone told me that God showed them that during all those years of abuse I was like a little tea pot and ready to really blow and lose it but God was hovering over me and coating the tea pot over and over to protect me from losing it all together.

So if you are in a place where you were or are being abused ask God to start being a Heavenly Father to you for He is the best Father of all.

Until Next Time, Gracie

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

PANTS ON THE GROUND---GOD'S PROVISION

FEAR NOT…..GOD IS YOUR PROVISION

There are 365 fear not’s in the Bible one for each day of the year. Yet there are times that we do fear. With the jobless rate increasing there are times where a lot of people fear for their provision. They focus on the problem not the fact that God is the providor.

A few years ago  my husband worked at an apartment complex. While him and another worker was cleaning out the stuff left behind by a tenant, Bruce made a comment in passing that in the eight years he had worked there nobody ever left behind a pair of jeans in his size. A few hours later he left for lunch. Driving out of the complex he ran over something dark  in the middle of the parking lot. After lunch on his way back to work he again ran over this object. This time he figured that he ought to at least pick it up and throw it away. Stooping down to pick it up, he was surprised that this object was a pair of jeans. Out of curiosity he checked to see the size and to his amazement this time it was in his size! God had made a provision for him but he passed it by twice.

I also heard a story of a missionary who was sick and was running out of food in the remote area in which she lived. She had prayed and asked God for someone to send her enough food for the next month. It was not long before she received a package in the mail. Inside was a month’s supply of gruel and canned milk.

It was not the provision that she had hoped for but she ate it anyway for that was all she had. After about a week of eating this gruel she found that she was feeling some better and by the end of the month she was no longer sick. Several months later she had an opportunity to talk to a doctor about her mysterious ailment and her having to diet on gruel and canned milk for an entire month. The doctor told her that from the way she described her ailment if she had come to him she would have been prescribed a diet of gruel and canned milk for her. Her provision was just what she needed to get well.

While I had been praying for people who needed a provision from God, I saw through spiritual eyes that a few feet above them was a chicken wire net spread out. Through this wire I could see God raining down money but all of this money was being caught on the chicken wire fence. I had asked God where this fence came from. In my spirit I felt the urgency to read Deut. 28. For first half of the chapter says if we will do this, and follow my commandments then all of these blessing will come upon us and overtake us. However if we do not do the 'IF’s'  in the Bible then the absence of blessings will be there.

We must begin to look to God for our provision and see whether or not there is an IF attached to our provision.

Until Next Time, Gracie
                                    

 More Info On The Book Family Secrets... Here

 http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

THE WAILING WALL

With the goats happy and contained despite foraging for food in addition to their regular grain, their ravenous appetite made it necessary to move them to another pasture. Lacking a pond the task of filling up buckets and buckets of water and transporting it to the new pasture became a laborious task. But like the children of Israel in the wilderness who needed water, we also were supplied with a rock which gushed forth water. This phenomenon happens after a rain and the water usually flows for us to two weeks and makes it way down to the creek back. This water is cool, clean and pure.

As we stood in awe and wonder at this site I noticed the intense look on Bruce’s face as the gears in his head was churning out an idea. I did not disturb him but gave him time to fully formulate this idea. Having viewed such a magnificent sight I was sure the idea must be a good one.

“Let’s build a retaining wall right here where this water flows into the creek bank. It doesn’t need to be very tall just maybe two feet. We could harness the water and it would be great for the goats. Sure would ease my workload,” Bruce stated as the idea spilled out of his head.

If Bruce thought that the two-foot wall was good, then the boss thought that surely a four-foot retaining wall would be even better. He wasted no time in running with the idea. Trenches were dug and the frames for the cement were put into place. A quick call to the cement dealer suggested that there was an immediate opening for delivery and did they want to take it. The boss said sure. It has been my experience that when you get into a hurry over something and have to have it right now, or yesterday was even better then you run the risk of forgetting something important. Such was the case on this project. Bruce barely had time to get some of the last braces of the framework in place when the cement truck showed up.

The mix that had been delivered was a dry mix which although it made the wall stronger it is more difficult to work with. That necessitated that they work at a fever pitch shoveling and pushing around the cement into the forms while the sweltering heat zapped their strength and intensified the work before them. They had taken no water to the project sight thinking that they had time to do so before the cement truck arrived. Their calculation was off and this is a job where you cannot take a break in the process. If you disobey this rule than you run the risk of the cement hardening before you get it into the proper place.

They wailed and bemoaned the fact that the project was rushed and it had to be completed before their thirst could be quenched. Coupled with the fact that the boss wore the wrong kind of gloves and some of the cement seeped through the gloves onto his hand and irritated his hands so much it would be another week until his hands recovered. It had been for these reasons that the wall had become affectionately known as the wailing wall.

Just when they thought that the project was done, Bruce decided that fence posts should be put into the wet cement to provide for future fencing. Looking back Bruce had wondered if that had been necessary since goats do not like to swim. The addition of the fencing proved to be a costly mistake.

It would be several weeks before the first rain came to test the strength of the wailing wall. It had been a gentle rain and the wall held and the water that flowed up against it stood. It was not until a week or so after that that the deluged of rain descended from the sky in a torrent and dropped ten inches of rain in a twenty-four hour period. Creek banks and riverbanks all over the county were covered with water. Worst flooding in forty years, the old timers would tell us. Bruce knew that he would have to access what damage, if any were done to the wailing wall. Our wailing wall was six feet high, the increase of height was due to the debris that was carried downstream and pushed into the fence which was now acting as a barrier. The pressure that the debris placed upon wailing wall made it decidedly lean. It was now in danger of falling down. The wailing wall definitely had some issues but they could not be addressed until the rain stopped.

The rain continued for a week and the constant pressure made the wall collapse. It had broken in two places. The short end of the wall stood straight up as a pillar stretching heavenward. The longer portion of the wall lay out in the creek bank just one inch above the ground. With swiftness Bruce rushed in and repaired the wire fence so the goats would still remain contained and not venture off. That was all that could be done until a dry season; the repair of the wall would have to wait until the water subsided. While they waited Bruce and his boss bantered back and forth about the merits of going ahead and completely destroying the wall and rebuilding it from scratch or merely raising the wall back up. In the end the best solution was to raise the wall again.

The first step was to clean out all the debris that hindered the raising of the wall. It would take three men to actually raise the wall so Bruce enlisted the help of Larry (the guy who found eight of our renegade goats on his land). Armed with a chain hoist, two twenty-ton jacks, one five ton jack and our tractor they were ready to start. The fifty-foot chain hoist was secured around a giant oak tree and attached to some rebar in the wall. The jacks and the hoist were inched upward a quarter of an inch at a time and blocks were put in place so that the progress made would not be lost. As they slowly inched their way upward they could hear the concrete snap and pop under the strain. They were always careful to quickly move back from the wall after each upward motion just in case the wall succumbed under the strain. As the wall was approaching its original height, then they brought in the tractor and began to shove the pillar portion of the wall downward. To everyone’s amazement this pushing of the pillar actually helped to pull the whole wall almost exactly into its original place.

There was much hoopla going around with high fives and maybe a victory dance or two. You would have thought they just made a fifty-yard touchdown at the super bowl. But the work on the wailing wall still was not finished. They had to go back and add in a kneeling supports on both the front and back side of the wall. Pour more concrete to cement it into place and repair the cracks and ten and only then would the wailing wall work to its full potential.

Our wall was put in danger in the first place because of all the debris had come in when the flood waters overwhelmed the barriers what we had made. Originally we did not have the knelling supports in place that should have been there to support the wall against the water on the other side from tipping the wall over. The kneeling supports are much like the Holy Spirit who comes in when the enemy attacks and supports us against the pressures from the outside.

Until Next Time, Gracie

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More Info On Family Secrets...The Book Here

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

DON’T LET LIFE GET YOUR GOAT

 When we first moved out here to the country it was decided that the best area of profitability for the farm would be the raising and selling of goats or at least that is what the boss thought. I did not approach the raising of goats with ambivalence for I was far beyond that point and my feelings now bordered on hatred. I had two issues with goats both of which had never been fully resolved. The first incident was when I given a picture of a goat and my mother standing beside it. This one picture had filled me with so much terror that I chose not to keep the picture but rather sent it away so I would not have to deal with it. If any animal could put the fear of God in me then it would surely be a goat.

My second encounter with a goat was when my husband had decided to go in halves with another guy and raise a goat. This incident happened near the Y2K scare when we lived on four acres. This particular goat was a musty smelling billy goat with a propensity for causing problems. Since we did not have a fenced in area for him, we tied him to a tree temporarily. Quick as a flash he chomped his way through the rope and ran to the nearest trashcan to look for something more appealing to eat then the standard goat food. Invariably he always did this when I was the only one to deal with it. I would chase him and grab what was left of the rope and attach a new piece to it. That in itself was quite a feat; you have to contend with the smell that was enough to knock you over…that is unless the goat knocked you over first with his gargantuan strength. I had asked my husband to get rid of the goat but he felt an obligation to keep it.

I began to pray and tell God that something needs to be done about this goat. I feared that it was getting the best of me. To my utter surprise the next morning as I was about to face another day with the likes of this goat, I heard a rumbling from the sky and before long we were in the midst of a full fledged thunder storm. A clap of thunder had rattled my morning cup of hot chocolate enough that the liquid slide down the side of the cup. I looked outside to see if any damage had been done and there in the middle of the field laid the goat. He had gotten loose again and got struck by lightning. Now I make no claims that God had intervened on my behalf for my husband tells me it is not in the nature of God to do that…but still…?

So here I was eight years later dealing with round three...and not just one goat...but this time I would be called upon to deal with forty of them. I can tell you from experience that if you do not deal with something in your life and choose to ignore it, it does have a way of showing up at your doorstep again…and again…and again. Mine were to be delivered that very afternoon via a truck. The only ray of sunshine that I had about the whole thing was the fact that a deal had been struck with the boss. The boss would supply all the finances for raising the goats. In turn my husband would do all on his own time and we could keep half the money when the goats were sold. Sometimes one does need an incentive to cope with something you really have no inclination to do.

The truck came and the goats reluctantly made their way into the pasture prepared for them. The boss wrote out the check in payment for the goats. The ink on the check barely had time to dry before it happened. I was standing a few feet from the fence line taking in the view of the goats and reminding myself that at least this time I would be rewarded for my efforts if I would just see this thing through. I coughed and cleared my throat from the trail of dust the delivery truck left in its wake. Out of the corner of my eye, a single goat was running full speed ahead and he looked like he was headed for me! I jumped out of the way...I dare not get in his path…he shot through the fence. Not only did he get through the fence but because goats have a herd mentality he also took thirty-six other goats with him. In a matter of minutes the heard had been cut by more than 2/3. Talk about fleeting profits!

At this point with the majority of goats heading off for parts unknown, it was up to us to seek them out and bring them back to the herd. Fliers were placed at stores in the area offering a reward for the return of the goats. Endless hours were spent riding the quads in search of the illusive goats. They were finally spotted on a neighboring farm hiding out in a holler covered in a thicket of cedar trees.

Someone told the boss that pushing the goats out of the holler was an easy task if you manage to sneak upon them. Thus is that we got a knock on our door at 2 o’clock in the morning for Bruce to participate in a commando raid to capture wayward goats and march the escapees back. Armed only with a flashlight they rode the quads near where the goat was last seen. At night they come out of the holler and bedded down on the highest ground to see any predators who seek to get them. Needless to say the goats saw and heard the roar of the engines approaching and headed back to the holler. Hollers are treacherous for humans for they have no sure footing, but for the goats it is a safe haven. They climb the steep walls of the holler with a grace and ease to behold. It would be fascinating to watch them if it had not been for the frustration factor between the pursuer and the pursued. The men came back four hours later in defeat cold and bleeding.

Another plan of attack would be in order. At this point it had become a war, it was no longer just the money that the goat represented but it was a matter of pride. You just can’t let the goat get the better of you; after all we can’t be outsmarted by a goat! The next plan was to get a “professional” herd dog and let him scout around and do the work for us. This time when the men went out on their maneuvers they did so in broad daylight. They loosed the dog and like a soldier he scouted the area and found the goats. He lay down on his belly and inched his way toward the goats. He did all of this with such precision that you knew this had been inbred into him. When he got close enough he raised himself up and barked and ran around in circles to contain the goats. The goats were afraid to move; the dog just kept circling with occasional glances back at the men as if to say, “okay, now what do I do?” The men could not get the goats because the dog would not give up his position. The dog became another barrier. It had become the proverbial Mexican standoff. Another idea had gone awry.

As the months passed winter began to set in. The greenery that the goats feed off in the wild was now covered in a white blanket of snow. Food became scarce for them. The wayward goats were just close enough that from their vantage point they could catch glimpses of the remnant goats in our pasture. They could hear the rustle of the feedbags as my husband filled their troughs with substance. They heard the splash as their thirst was being satisfied. How the other goats longed for that place of being taken care of. After a while the renegade goats inched their way closer and closer to home until one day they stood by the fence seeking to be let back for they now knew where their protection lay.

I have since thought about the goats and how they represented a problem area in my life. Sometimes when problems arise the first things we try and do are to buy out way out of it, if at all possible. If that fails then we figure that if we can somehow just sneak up on it under cover of darkness we can fix it and nobody needs to know about it. If that fails then we hopefully can get someone to stand between the problem and us. Mind you this does not fix the problem it only contains the problem for a short while until the frustration presents itself again. It is only when we get to the point where we are hungry enough to do something about it once and for all that we begin to take the steps you need to find that place of peace and serenity. Then and only then can you go on and become a blessing to someone else.

Love, Gracie   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.
You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.
                               MORE INFO HERE:
  http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

THE THIEF

I held my empty egg carton in my hand as I made my morning rounds to the chicken coop. I had been getting about seven eggs per day but for the past two days that number had dwindled down to just one. I had blamed the lack of eggs on any number of things from the chicken not getting enough sunlight to the fact that maybe they were molting and it is a seasonal thing. Still I went out each morning to check for the farm fresh eggs for my breakfast. I had high hopes that this day things would be back to normal.
I approached the coop unafraid because I had done this so often, after all this was my normal routine. The sky was overcast that day and the lack of sunshine did cast shadows in the coop. The dark shadow hovered around the base of the nesting boxes. As I stretched forth my hand in the direction of where I expected the eggs to be I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. I dropped my empty carton and ran out of the coop as fast as I could. I hadn’t even stopped to look back. What I thought was a shadow was really a large black snake!

I told my husband about the snake and he marched into the coop, grabbed the snake by the tail and flung it out into the pasture. As that snake went hurling into the air what spewed out of his mouth was bright yellow egg yolk. I was duly impressed with this act of bravery until he informed me, “You do know that black snakes are harmless don’t you?” I did not care if it was harmless. It looked menacing and it stood between me and what I wanted… the eggs.

Back in the house over breakfast my husband related a story to me about an encounter with another snake he had when he was twelve years old. He had been living in Arizona and went out to fish the mountain streams. Being a boy scout he was always prepared so he took along a knife and a BB gun. He had caught several fish and put them on a stringer which he draped around his neck. In one hand he held a fishing pole and the other one he held his BB gun. The forest area that he had to pass through was dark except for a single stream of light that shone on one area of the path. There the light shone down directly on a rattlesnake that was between him and home. He knew if he ever wanted to get home he would have to deal with that snake.

He put down the fishing pole; aimed his BB gun at the snake’s head and shot it 23 times. He then took out his knife and cut off the snake’s head to bury it. He knew that even though it was dead if someone accidently touched the rattlers head the venom still inside him would flow out into the unexpecting victim. Then he got the idea to take the rest of the snake home as a trophy.

To prepare for the trip home he again draped the stringer of fish around his neck along with the body of the snake. He held his BB gun in one hand and the fishing pole in another. In order to cross the creek, which contained a lot of slippery rocks, he had to stay focused. A good acronym for focus is Forgetting Obstacles and Cruddy Unforeseen Situations (those which have been dealt with). Anyway he got to the middle of the stream when the snake began to coil around his neck and choke him. My husband flung his fishing pole in one direction and his gun in the other direction and fought to get the snake from off himself. When he wrestled free the snake was also flung as far away from him as he could throw it. Then he it suddenly dawned on him; the snake was already dead; all the snake could do was have a muscle spasm. He was afraid of something that had already been defeated.

Jesus has already defeated Satan! Even though Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy, the most Satan can do is having a muscle spasm every now and then. Yet sometimes we fear him; and allow him to stand between us and our dreams.

Until Next Time, Gracie

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About The Book Family Secrets

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

HIDDEN IN THE CLEFT OF THE ROCK

On my way into town I pass by a curious rest stop by the side of

road. This rest stop looks out of place on this county road lined with pastures. There are signs along the road letting you know it is there. The sign is simply a picture of a rock and underneath it a picnic table.

 

The first time I saw the rest stop I marveled at the sight of it. Here was a large rock with a cleft jetting out. Underneath it someone had built a picnic table. Logic questioned who would put a picnic table in such a precarious place? I told myself I would not sit there.

As I pass by I always look just to see if anyone is there. I have seen travelers who have stopped to get their picture taken. I have seen families come to have a picnic. I have seen others come to explore and climb the rock.

I have seen the rock through all the seasons. During the spring rains the water cascades down the side of the rock into a waterfall. In the summer the hot scorching sun does not beat down on the cleft of rock but provides shade for those underneath it. In the fall I look beyond the rock and behold all the trees changing colors .In wintertime the precipitation on the waterfall freezes, ice cycles hang from the ledge in mid-drip giving the impression that time stands still. I admire the rock for all of its beauty and majesty.

I have watched as people take refuge in the cleft of the rock. Rain storms come and I see motorcycle riders pulling over there waiting for the storm to pass. In the summertime highway workers choose this spot to eat their lunch away from the scorching sun. In the weariness of their travels some have slept there to be refreshed.

I pass by this spot often but have never stopped. I tell myself I’m too busy now. I’m on my way somewhere. Then there is always the what if’s that intrude into my thought life. What if this cleft crushes me? I have reasoned that for me it is a trust issue.

I posed a question to God. What would it take for me to be comfortable enough to abide in the cleft of the rock? The answer came this morning as we were having devotions at the breakfast table. We were reading Faith Food Devotions by Kenneth E. Hagin. In this devotion Kenneth Hagin talks about a preacher, who had many storms in his life, came to seek advice from him.

Kenneth Hagin read these words to him...Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance, and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite request), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.    Philippians 4:6 (Amplified)

“But everyone doesn’t have the faith you have”, the preacher told Kenneth. Yes, but they have the same Bible,” he replied, “and it’s a matter of practicing the Word.” He went on to say that he reads this verse and makes a declaration of faith that the Word is true and he believes it. He says aloud, “I refuse to fret or have any anxiety about anything.” He then makes his request to the Lord and thanks Him for them.

Could it be that the trust issues I have are this simple to get rid of? Have I been complicating the issue because I have been focusing on all of the external issues of trust?

~ Grace Ann

                                    Gracie learning to dwell with out fear. (:

Visual Journaling

I liken parts of my life to being on a constant diet. It wasn’t that I had a weight problem but I did have to constantly “weigh” every decision I made.

I had to calculate all of my actions as to exactly how what I did, or did not do, would affect me personally. For me it became a way of life and my life truly did depend on how well I handled the challenge.

As far as exercise was concerned, life became an obstacle course which I did with extreme caution. I had to tread lightly in my environment. I tiptoed my way around and became very adept at walking on eggshells.

I have  been told that if you are dieting it is not good for you to completely cut out a whole food group.This is because you need all of the groups to have a balanced diet and one group builds upon another. 

I missed out on a very important stage of life....that being childhood. No fun or frivolity was allowed. Life was serious business.  For me childhood was like being allowed to have dessert before you eat your vegetables. You could play, act silly, have adventures, explore and learn about life in your own way. Or at least that is how I had envisioned it to be for most people. I had to become an adult at around age four.

 Now I am a senior citizen but I still miss not having a childhood.

For my birthday this year I was given a scrapbook and some paper dolls from someone who knew me well. I proceeded to make for myself a visual journal to remind me that it is never too late to have a happy childhood.

 I cut out the paper dolls and put onto the journal pages This also was a way of reminding me that I had “permission” to pursue this missing piece of my life. I keep this journal handy in my desk drawer as a reminder to do something non-sensible as the occasion presents itself.

images of things I would like to do.

Going Forward..

After as month of no rain it poured this past week. Most of the water quickly soaked into the dry parched ground but a few water puddles remained. I did not do the sensible thing and maneuver around them but rather purposely stepped into the middle of them to see how big of a splash it made.
 It felt good. I know it was a small step but the journey has begun.

~ Gracie

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Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

                                                               ORDER HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.ph?w=978

THE WEB

It had always been something of a curiosity to me why some of our tree limbs had a web wrapped around certain branches. So I decided to investigate. What I found out was that it was a sign that the tree has bagworms.

Bagworms start out life as a caterpillar and then change into a moth. As a caterpillar in the larva stage it is rarely seen. When they metaphors’ the male bagworms are black, fury, clear-winged moths with a one inch wing-span. Females are creamy white and lack wings and legs.

During September and October, the females lay their eggs. But before she does, she spins a silk web all around the branch of the tree where she resides. This web resembles a bag. This is done to protect herself from her natural predator the birds. Female bagworms can lay as many as 500 to 1,000 eggs. The eggs hatch in May and June.

Young larva feed on the leaves and keep chewing on leaves until they turn brown and eventually die. They can strip the branch bare. Everything inside this bag shaped web will die. The rest of the tree however looks healthy. In spiritual terms this is called a fragmented soul.

This got me thinking about our lives. We can look healthy and so full in life in most areas; but are there areas of our life where we feel dead?

Are there areas of our life where we are producing no fruit? If this is the case then it behooves us to look for a web of deception that has attached itself to this area of our life. What lies has the enemy used to keep the truth from shining through? Until this web of deception is gone this area of your life cannot become alive again and function the way it was meant to.

Wanda wrote in The Search for Peace: A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Wholeness  " As we continue to replace the ‘negative core beliefs’ with ‘positive core beliefs’ from the Word of God, we also need to constantly monitor what is happening in us. We must look objectively at the reaction that comes out of us and other people. The way we react when something happens is a real, no fail, barometer of what is in our souls.

Sometimes we will have a ‘sleeper’ (a web) that lies silent for a while; .... we can fool ourselves in how well we are doing. Bottom line, ‘If we have a ‘problem’ with anybody or anything ‘we’ have a problem.’ Oh they may indeed have a problem, but the real problem for us is how we ‘react’ to their problem. A soul set free never reacts…only acts."

She goes on to tell a funny story...

"‘This guy heard the doorbell ring. When he went to answer it all he found was a snail sitting on the porch. He picked up the snail, hauled off and threw it as far as he could and went back inside slamming the door behind him. Three years later he heard the doorbell again and opened the door to find the same snail sitting there, the snail said to him, “So, what was ‘that’ all about?” I guess the moral of that story is no matter how long it takes to get to the bottom of a reaction…get there and find out what ‘that’ is all about."

~Gracie

THE THINGS LEFT BEHIND

Had it not been for the bright orange day lilies that graced the edge of one of the pastures we might have missed it. Day lilies usually signal you to the fact that an old homestead is nearby. We first came upon two sets of flat stones one leading into the house and the other was at the back. Nothing remained of the house itself and certainly no clue to who might have occupied it.

Combing the woods behind the old homestead about fifty feet from the back of the house lay an iron bed frame discarded from the house and buried under a pile of leaves. I pondered what sort of story might have been associated with this. Often times we feel that what is buried cannot hurt us, so it lays there. We fail to realize that anything we bury tends to take and develop a root system. In the natural when something takes root the larger the root grows the harder it is to pull it out and get rid of it.

Around the old homestead the grass in the fields had grown so tall that they could no longer be mowed; they needed to be brush hogged. More discoveries were hidden in the fields. One by one we found harrowing tools abandoned and left to rust.

The harrowing tools were used to work the soil and each one had a purpose. The longer harrowing tool was for superficial work to make the soil lighter and airy. If it is used first the soil can become windblown, tossed to and fro. In contrast the disk harrows can stand in for the plough in very tough country. It can handle stuff like tree stumps and roots and the rocks that are deeper in the soil. The harrowers change the soil structure and make it suitable for seeding and planting.

My mind pondered the scripture in Hosea that says to break up your fallow ground. One of the definitions of fallow ground that I like is land that is idling and crusted over and hardened. Hardness of heart usually occurs from experiencing a heart wrenching experience that almost crushes your soul. You might also be experiencing coldness in a part of your life. In an odd way we want to freeze this memory and bury it. I suppose it represents a sort of death that has occurred to our souls.

                                                                                                                           Love, Gracie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets, is a gripping page-turner.You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:
http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

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