LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Growing up, trust was in very short supply in my world. Those whom you would normally trust had proven to be non-trustworthy. For me trust had to be earned and it was not automatically given. For the abused child especially this is a truth that they carry with them. So how do you learn to trust again? For me it was a slow process.


Your heart yearns for someone who can show you the least bit of encouragement, a nod of approval in an otherwise cruel world. All you can usually see is darkness, a gray haze that covers your life and dampens all of your hopes and dreams. It is a mist and fog that penetrates to your soul. It is a confusion that keeps you stuck were you are and will not release you to go to that place where you can even dream of a better day. There were times that I could not see "the light at the end of the tunnel". It was too far away from my reality.

I began to draw from God. I knew that those silent tears and prayers were reaching upward to God. I felt better for having prayed them. He was someone whom I could confide in and He would never tell a living soul about what I had told Him. I came to discover as time went on that He could instill in me the ability to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

As I kept talking to God then the light in the tunnel began to shine a little brighter each day. You see hope had entered into my life. Someone once told me that you can endure anything if you know that what you are enduring will soon come to an end. The light at the end of the tunnel is manifested as hope in your life.

Matthew 12:20&21 tells us that He[Jesus] will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope.. and His name[Jesus] will be the hope of the world.

If you are in a situation that you feel is hopeless begin to talk to God about it and ask Him to give you hope.

Until Next Time, Gracie

More Info Here:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

ENTERING 2011----EXITING 2010

 I hear those who say, "Thank God 2010 has ended!” For them the NEW YEAR just signals some sort of escape from things that plagued them.

Throughout our whole lives we are constantly entering something, whether it is a new phase of our lives or a new job, or a new situation.

Have you ever thought about HOW you exit one thing will determine how you will enter the next thing? If you leave one to enter the next with unforgiveness, bitterness or unresolved anger and hurt...you will sow seeds of the same in the new area of your life and contaminate it also.

I once had a job I chose to leave because it was causing me a lot of bitterness and resentment over how I felt they treated me. I left with all of that bitterness and resentment in tact because I thought that it would automatically leave when I escaped my old job to enter a new job. It did not. I carried it, and the pain, with me until I made a decision to let go. I was also only thinking of my new job as a means of escape.

God’s escape pattern is not about taking you FROM something but taking you TO something. Take the children of Israel; they were led out of bondage by Moses to take them into the promise land. Abraham also left Ur of Chaldees to enter a land and relationship with God’s promise and covenant. God is always looking to the finished product.

Deliverance is always based on taking you OUT of something and bringing you INTO something new.

This year let it be one where we ask God to take us out of our own destructive patterns and lead us into new areas of PEACE and HOPE. Let us resolve to work on those things that would hold us back from being all God wants us to be. Choose to look at this year as a year of HOPE.

Happy New Year,
Gracie

More Info On The Book Family Secrets... Here

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THE CAVE

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.” ~~Joseph Campbell

************************************



Living out here in the country I witnessed an illustration about dreams and caves. As I watched the events unfold I had a better understanding of how abuse not dealt with with effects dreams.

The swimming hole wasn’t an elaborate dream- just a simple one. The boss, who owns the two hundred acres where my husband is caretaker, had dreamed of childhood memories of carefree days at a swimming hole. It was my husband’s responsibility to turn his dream into a reality.

The County extension office came out to make arrangements to find the perfect spot. They determined the best place for his pond would be in the gorge that had been carved out by nature. The peacefulness and quiet that we had enjoyed gave way to the hum and roar of the bulldozers. The machines pushed, shoveled and moved large amounts of dirt into the proper prepositions to carve out a pond. It took several weeks before the project was finished and we had an empty pond.

Everything looked good and now all we had to do is wait for the rain from above to begin filling up the pond and then the dream would be realized. The rain came in short spurts so the water inched its way to the top. With each new rain we would rush to the pond and report back to the boss the newest measurement of the water level.

Month after month this went on until one day the sky opened up and rained down on us all of the necessary water to fill up the pond. Unfortunately just as quickly as the pond filled up it receded back to a lower level and still lower with each rain storm.

Surveying the area that surrounded the pond we learned that there were cracks in the limestone substructure. It was after a horrendous rain that something startling came into being. The fracture line had exposed a muddy trench. Further investigation was needed. As we crawled on our knees, sticky red clay clung to our clothes. Soon we came to an opening and there it was… a cave! We stood up. The cave had a musty smell that offended my nostrils. The cave had been here for years and the stalagmite that was at my feet bore witness to that fact.


As I surveyed my surroundings, we were in just the beginning of the cave. Four feet below  the cave opened up again into a nice size room about eight square feet. It was in this room that the water disappeared. Looking along the wall there were other caves jetting out in every direction. My mind echoed Wanda’s words..."Could it be that the cave holds all the pain and hurt we buried?”

It was then that I realized that this is what my soul must have looked like. The caves jetting out in every direction represented all of my pain and hurt I had buried.. abuse.. grief.. .deaths..depression. I no longer wanted to be in the cave. I wanted to be where the dream was.

Turning around to leave, I caught a glimpse of sunlight. A  fracture line above my head revealed where not only had the small ray of sunlight come through but also a green leaf that protruded into the cave. It was a promise of healing and a fulfilling life that would come if only I allowed God to work in this situation.

Outside again, we now had a realization of why the pond was only half filled with water. Something had to be done. I watched as an observer as rocks and logs and lots of material things were thrown into the cave to fill the void. It didn't work. Next, an order was placed for forty dump truck loads of red sticky clay to cover up the cave and pretend that it did not exist. Denial did not work either.

Finally, it was decided to build a wall of sandbags around the cave . It was reasoned that the sandbag wall would keep the dream of the pond alive or at the very least keep it from losing ground. Like the other solutions it was also a failure.The cave continued in its present state and the dream could not be fully realized until something was done.

It is the same way in my life. I cannot  have my dream of being the person God intended me to be and to walk in my full potential until I deal with the unresolved issues buried in my soul.

Until Next Time, Gracie

More Info On The Book Family Secrets... Here

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SECRETS...

Psalms 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden [part] thou shalt make me to know wisdom.



Secrets, we have all been told them and some may be harmless but others that we have been pledged to keep and hide deep down within the recesses of our souls can become to us lethal weapon in the hands of the enemy.

Webster’s dictionary defines secrets as designed or working to escape notice, knowledge or observation.

God did not create us to hold secrets in the inward parts. He make us to desire truth.

The definition of truth is in stark contrast of that of secrets. Truth as defined by Webster’s dictionary is ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience.

A lot of things happen when you have secrets hidden in the recesses of your heart and soul. Secrets have a way of taking away from you a lot of precious energy. You spend your waking hours in an attempt to surpress those secrets from surfacing and in the very same breathe you strive to pretend that there is nothing out of the ordinary, nothing is wrong.

The more that secrets hide in the shadows the less they are exposed to the light of truth and knowledge. Whatever is hidden deep inside only has one perception of the event or trauma that took place. Unexposed to the light of God’s Word and God’s healing touch it will remain buried but at the same time expels hurt and pain to those around you.

When living with my parents our home contained the secrets of alcholism, verbal and physcial abuse. We as a family were too embarassed to admit that we were in a crisis so we built walls around the family to try and confine the problem. The only thing the walls did was to prevent other people outside the family from giving us the support system we needed to stop the vicious cycle of alcholism and abuse.

Bear in mind that all  family secrets, whether alcholism, incest or murder, are usually geared to protecting the wrong person. It is this denial of the problem that almost always assures it will pass down to the next generation.

Secrets can cause you to have lasting spiritual and emotional damage which adds to the problem. A preacher once told me, " You are only as healthy spiritually as the deepest darkest secrets that you hide in your soul." A lot of people have the misperception that once Christ comes into your life then you will not have to deal with the secrets...that somehow they just magically go away. That simply is not true they must be dealt with in order to be whole again.

So how do you start to deal with the secrets in your life? First of all if you are, right now, a victim of verbal or physcial abuse  you need to go someplace safe to work on these issues. I recommend  a battered women’s shelter. They are true professionals who know how to deal with the problems  you face. Many counselors have been where you are and will help you own your own TRUTH.

Owning your Truth is the beginning

of spiritual and emotional healing....

Until Next Time, Gracie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets, is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

                                      

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

CHICKENS & EAGLES

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31  NLT

With each new batch of chickens that hatch our little flock increases. I am sad to say that I am often not diligent in counting the flock each day to know if any are missing. This past week however I noticed that two of our dominicker chickens were AWOL. My mind was quick to pronounce judgement that they probably had succumbed to the predators. I had feared that they could never survive out there at night all alone for any length of time.


As I took my walk one evening along our trail I realized that it would soon be dusk and I better head on toward home. I was about ¼ of a mile from our house near the big red barn that had recently been finished, and I thought that I heard the faint sound of a chicken clucking. I verded off the trail and went inside the barn and looked on the ground but no chicken was in sight. I turned to leave but heard the noise again and this time my eyes were drawn upward.


There on the highest rafter of the barn (some 11 feet up) sat the two chickens. Evidently in being allowed to range free they had wandered off and made their way to the barn to seek refuge. But the refuge of the barn wa not enough to protect them fully so they found a way to get to the highest peak of the barn away from the predators so they could find rest. They knew that being up as high as possible gave them good visibility to be able to see predators and thus would not be caught unaware.


This had been quite a feat for them for as I have stated before they are not the smartest animal on the farm. Another thing you may not know about chickens is that the less weight they carry the higher they can fly. The chicken however could not fly the eleven feet on its own. They had flew to the top of one of the bales of hay stored on the floor of the barn and used the hay as stepping stones until they were able to soar to the highest peak to find refuge and rest.

This sight had reminded me of a time in my life who words of prophesy were spoken over me. I was in the midst of all my trials and the word came to me that said, “ You are carrying around a lot of things (excess baggage) that God never wanted you to carry and inside your spirit wants to soar.”

Like the chicken my “weight” prevented me from soaring to new height. I had to start taking the steps one by one to get rid of all the excess baggage. With the Lord’s help I got rid of the baggage I was carrying around and now I can soar new heights.

Until Next Time, Gracie

               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

THE VIEW FROM THE FRONT PORCH

These past few weeks on television they have been celebrating the fifty years of the Andy Griffith show about Mayberry. In almost every episode you will find them out on the front porch interacting with the people around them. I think that a lot of people watch this show to reminisce about days gone by. They crave that personal interaction.

Have you noticed that the vast majority of the houses built in the past thirty years do not have a front porch? This has become a sign of our times and is reflective of how we live our lives.

In a book entitled Bowling Alone by Robert D. Putman, he did a study over the past 40 years on how we interact socially with each other. He found that we have become increasingly disconnected from family and friends. Back just 30 years ago the average person invited guests into their home about 3 times a week. Now our national average of inviting someone into our homes is once or maybe twice a year!

What really hit this message home for me this week was a conversation that I had with a gentleman who had suffered a heat stroke several years ago. He related to me about how his vision has changed since that event. He told me that the things he sees which are at arm’s length are three dimensional and real to him. Everything else beyond arms length appears one dimensional like a picture background. He has a hard time seeing those things as real. I wondered if sometimes we don’t see people in that same light.

Being an abuse survivor I cannot count the number of times that I wanted to stand on a table in a crowd of people and shout at the top of my lungs, “Does anyone know that I am here? I am a real live human being.” Abuse takes a lot out of you and you become, if only to yourself, a shell of a person...one dimensional. Or as Wanda puts it in her book The Search for Peace "...the walking dead." There is a longing to reconnect with people...to have people touch your life and to get up-close and personal. In today’s society this is especially a challenge. It is not as easy as it was back in the day.

I remember a poem, and I do not know who wrote it but this is a few lines of it:

There are times when encouragement means such a lot,


And a word is enough to convey it


There were others who could have just as easy as not


But just the same they would never say it.


Look at the people around you in a totally new light and see if you can give them a word of encouragement instead of just passing them by.

Until Next Time, Gracie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

 http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6

A FATHER TO THE FATHERLESS

I know, Lord, that a person’s life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. Jeremiah 10:23~ NLT

This verse is especially true for children in their formative years. As a child I did not have a say  about the home I was placed into. I did not have a say about my name being taken away from me. But I think that more important than that... I has no kind of support system or anyone in my corner.

Over the years I was not encouraged to make friends. These things,  for the most part, were off limits to me and out of my hands. I did not have the opportunity to plot my own course and yet God has an ordained planned for my life and all children.

His plan to have them live in a loving home and go through an order of progress designed to lead them into adulthood. First they will be totally dependent upon their parents to supply their needs. Next they will go through a period where they can explore and play and know some of the simply joys that this life has to offer. Next comes adolescence that is sometimes painful as children are going through the transition to adulthood.

Man has been given free will and many times he chooses not to follow God’s ordained path. That ‘free will’ is a blessing as well as a curse depending on how we use it. Because of their parents choices and failure to provide a loving home where they can be nurtured and grow in adult ...innocent children pay a high price.
What is a fully grown child to do who may be still struggling to grow up in this kind of atmosphere?

Once while giving a partial testimony on my healing up to this point (this was prior to my full healing), I was talking about how I had lost my parents and my memory. Then I had said something that startled even me because I had not realized that early on in life exactly the full extent of what I was doing. The words that had come out of my mouth was me saying ,”Well, God I guess that right now I am nobody’s child so you will just have to become a Father to me.” Being so young and not having spiritual insights I did not realize that when I had been asking God for help to see me through this I was putting God in my life and asking Him to become my Father.

Psalms 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God has promised to do that and be a father to the fatherless. For those of you who are not orphans than here another scripture.

Psalms 27:10 When my father and mother forsake me, than the Lord will take me up.

When you feel that your parents have forsaken you then the Lord will become a Father to you. God cares so very much for children and He knew that He would have to step in and become a Father to these abused and hurting children. God’s care for me was there in so many ways although some times at this point I did not have the spiritual eyes to see it. For example sometimes when things get really bad God has placed within you a point where you block out a lot of the pain until later when you start to deal with it.

In my own case years later someone told me that God showed them that during all those years of abuse I was like a little tea pot and ready to really blow and lose it but God was hovering over me and coating the tea pot over and over to protect me from losing it all together.

So if you are in a place where you were or are being abused ask God to start being a Heavenly Father to you for He is the best Father of all.

Until Next Time, Gracie

Grace’s heartrending true life story, Family Secrets is a gripping page-turner.

You will marvel at the way God can turn even the most horrendous tragedies into a victory.

MORE INFO HERE:

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61566-133-6